“Get” to Do vs. “Got” to Do

Your Language is Probably Making Your Life Difficult

Happy New Year, everyone. 

“Got to do” vs. “get to do”. That’s what I’m talking about today.

This is an easy and fast tip to help you frame almost all of the work you do: in the “office” and at home.

Are you describing your work as “got to” or “get to”?

In other words, are you saying, “I gotta do that”/”I have to do that” or “I get to do that”?

There is a BIG difference between the two.

I first came across this concept in 2006 when I read Vance and Carol Ann Caesar’s book, The High Achiever’s Guide to Happiness.

This book is amazing. Every leader should read it. I once participated in a weekend retreat led by Vance, and he is a powerful speaker and thinker. This book is always the first one I recommend to my 1:1 executive coaching clients.

In the book, Vance shares a memory of how, when he was a teenager, a high school coach clued him into the difference between “get to” and “got to.”

Is it an obligation? Or is it something you choose to do? You want to do? Or it is something you are forced to do? That you must do?

I’ve been using this concept with my 1:1 coaching clients for years, and recently Dan Pink shared similar thinking in one of his short Pinkcast videos.

Dan speaks–in under 2 minutes–about how your language can impact your desire or motivation to exercise. He speaks about a behavioral change scientist named Michelle Segar, author of the book No Sweat. (And BTW, if you haven’t read any of Dan Pink’s books, you need to or I want you to “get to”. To Sell is Human is my favorite with Drive a close second.)

So, when exercising, do you think you . . . “got to” exercise or “get to” exercise?

Getting and staying motivated about exercise is something I get to do this year.

I want you to think about your language. I want you to think about how you are framing things.

What are you saying to yourself and others–all day long? I’m guessing there is a lot more “got to” vs. “get to.”

By the way, if you’d like to buy Vance and Carol Ann’s book from a local bookstore or any of Dan Pink’s, you can do that here. That little bookstore might be one of the first places you’ll get to go to when you get the vaccination, right? Let’s keep them in business.

Do You Know Why You’re Not Getting Promoted? Our First 2021 Webinar is All About Promotions.

On January 12, 2021, at 8 am PT/11 am ET/16:00 GMT, I’m speaking with my friend and fellow coach Stacy Mayer. Stacy’s going to share information you need to know: The 3 Unconscious Habits Keeping You from Getting Promoted.

Again, this webinar happens on January 12, 2021, at 8 am PT/11 am ET/16:00 GMT/17:00 CET.

Please join me, and remember it’s free.

Learn all about it here . . . and you need this Zoom link and the passcode: 288572.

If you register, I can remind you, and, as usual, make sure I have baked enough cupcakes. 😉

Details are here. Mark your calendars!  

Don’t Forget to Get Your Anti-Lazy Leadership Planner. 

If you missed December’s webinar, you can watch the recording and also grab the leadership planner. Our topic was, Plan Your 2021 Leadership (and Have Fun & Stay Sane at the Same Time).

Now, for you, the anti-lazy leader, a quick, tough-love message from me:

Your leadership skills will only change if you set an intention to develop them and hold yourself accountable.

It never happens by accident. Never.

Trust me on this. I’ve coached over a hundred execs 1:1 and over 2,000 people in workshops.

Leadership happens because you say you will do it and you follow through.

So, watch the webinar and download the planner. I’ll keep the recording up and the planner available until the end of this month.

Check Out the Preview of the Only Online Manager Training You’ll Ever Want

It’s time to check out the preview of the Awesome Manager program!

Your managers need and want training. You know that.

They need to set goals, give feedback, delegate, and manage performance.

They want to be great managers, but they don’t have the time and they don’t have the resources, especially during this global pandemic.

I have the solution: it’s Awesome Manager. It’s online learning and coaching, 15 minutes at a time.And it’s ready and online.

If you’d like to learn more about this 6-week training program for managers, then check out the free preview. Watch lessons and download some exercises.

This online program is . . .

  • Bite-sized: short video lessons walk managers through what they need to know, fast. Snappy, honest, and to the point.
  • Available 24/7: your managers log on when they can and when they want. And they have access to a private (no FB groups here) community where I answer their questions.
  • Ready to download and reference anytime: decks, transcripts, cheat sheets, and exercises are all available.
  • Reasonably priced and full of quality content, written and hosted by a leadership expert who coaches Fortune 500 C-Suite leaders (that’s me!).
  • Fun, engaging, and practical (boring not allowed).
  • Easy for HR/L&D to set up. We do the work so you don’t have to. (nice, eh?)

Ready to check it out?Sign up for the free preview here.

Lead with ease and talk to you soon,


PS I’m starting to post more information and resources into the LinkedIn AwesomeLeader.com group. I’d love if you joined me there.

PPS Hey, I just found a photo of me and Dan Pink in 2013 (long time ago!), taken at a client’s house. I’m one of those people who asks for a photo. Wow, the quality of photos on iPhones has come a long way.